Temwayaj Spensherly Claude
AlterPresse reposts this testimonial with the author’s permission on Facebook
There are 6 of us in my family. Since 2021, the country has not given us all the chance to live in the same place. Every time, there is a separation and it is not always the same formation. Sometimes it’s 4-2, 3-2-1, 3-3. Training varies from n to n.
Friday, May 10 to open Saturday, May 11, 2024, I was on my picket because of how Gresye was. I sleep at any 2 o’clock on Saturday morning just because I was afraid to sleep. It was the 4 of us in the house: my mother, my sister who comes after me, my father, myself. The 3 of them sleep, but I keep my eyes open and watch. My eyes become weak, I sleep.
From the Friday night, my mother started packing the bags. I got up and went to help him. I make sure that I take my belongings and put them in the same place as his. Even if it’s true, there are some training certificates that I haven’t been able to get.
On Saturday morning, the others got up before me. Serenade the cartridge pile, they start to take it before me. After that, there was a gust of wind, I didn’t rebel, I got up. Soldiers are not allowed to sleep long. After all, it wasn’t little Gresye who taught me this, Matisan already taught me the lesson.
My mother is making coffee, I am listening, I am laughing. We laugh at the fear and frustration because I feel like I’m going to run again. I try to arrange a suitcase and 2 clothes. Although I’m packing the suitcase, I don’t want to believe that I’m really moving. My heart is tight, I can’t drink the coffee. My stomach is in my stomach, my belly is on top of me, I’m not fit. There was a last gust of wind when I was about to go up to the roof so that I could put a small panel on top so that I could charge my phone. I ran and dived down. I didn’t want to run with a dead phone in my hand.
I’m looking at all the people in the mountain at home moving, we stay there. The neighbor in front is already sealed, we stay there. Every time I see people going there, I hope it will pass. The guy from the big ravine had already managed me, I didn’t want to believe that they came back to my veil again. And voup, my father appeared and told us, let’s go, with all our pressure. We didn’t manage to fix the bag properly, we took it and went on our way. While on the way, my sister and I noticed that the purse was missing. My mother will be able to come back, my father no more. And I’ve been walking for 5 minutes. I ran to get the key, I’m running barefoot through the stone teeth to go home to find the pieces. I’m running, I’m afraid, I don’t want to cross with misfortune. My breath is short, but I must go on. I ran to get the bag, I returned.
I have been walking for 5 hours. My mother is sick, she suffers terribly, but she has to walk. He can’t stay. We are walking, without even knowing where we are going. It is true that my father is from the south, but nothing is certified about where we sleep at night. Fortunately, my godfather handled it like an adult, he contacted a house that would shelter us in the evening. The whole 5 hours I told you, was from Gresye to Melye. Things 10 minutes by car. As we cut the mountain road, we keep hearing the cartridges. There are times, there are roads we will pass, we hear the bullets close to us, we have to climb to higher mountains. On the way, I meet old people, babies, sick people, but there is no stopping. Can’t stand no more.
We landed in Leogane. Saturday 11 to Wednesday 15, we are here. As if that wasn’t enough, on Wednesday afternoon, there was only one run in the dock. The first person who passed by told us to sharpen our cuffs (we’re not at home, we don’t have cuffs). The second one came and told us to go higher, the guys are near us, they are small. I already took my bag to run again. I do not need to tell you how my whole soul flies, but I am trembling. I had barely finished cooking, I hadn’t even separated it yet. To eat the food, it is under misery. We don’t do 2 or 3, on a beautiful early Thursday, we are eager for the province. I go to my father’s house outside.
Since that day, my life has changed. It’s staying in a place to watch birds, you can’t go out, there’s no one to talk to. Where I live in the province, it’s a short walk even to buy a piece of glue, I have to go 1 hour round trip.
I run barefoot, I run barefoot. I ran without the laptop that had the memory I started writing on it. I run without the investigation documents that I started leading to, I run without my books, without my IERAH/ISERSS receipts. The country hurts me. I gave up to start over, at zero this time. But every day I say to myself: “Spen, you have to reach, you have to keep.” I look at myself in the mirror, I give him the encouragement I can. It’s not easy, but put the pieces together, I’ll do it.
I don’t have many friends (which may seem strange to us), but there are people in my contacts who don’t let me down. I thought that my friend, who never wrote to me, asked me what I’m doing, if I’m fine. There are those who were never my friends, who write to ask me how I am. And the seeds of these people, they are on my heart, their names are engraved in my soul. I haven’t told them I love them yet, but I will.
There are some of you here who are interesting, who leave messages for me just to encourage me to keep, you are worth gold.
When I said it was the only smile I had left, I wasn’t lying. And he is not always there. It’s a small thing that can bother me, but I’m going to let the state of Haiti eat it from my hands. I will fight for him, he is not mine.
Sly Clde became a refugee in his own country.
Photo source: Haiti-Local / Sandstone mountain from which the city is viewed from below
