Always remember this: your child, whether it is a girl or a boy, is not someone’s girlfriend
An adult who enjoys calling a child my wife, my man, my girlfriend, is a moving behavior even if the intention is innocent. When there is even touching, it leaves serious behind.
AyiboPost talks to specialists in the field of mental health, who reveal the extent to which behavior and nicknames that move close to family or simple knowledge can damage children’s lives.
There are children who are often touched by parents and even adults in their neighborhood asking to see their private parts to verify their stage of evolution. What tree did you plant?
According to what Psychologist-Clinician Johanne Landrin explained to AyiboPost, these situations can have serious psychological consequences on the child such as: low self-esteem, suicidal thoughts, rejection, and body acceptance problems.
Good! There is a phenomenon in Haiti called tate tifi. This practice itself is a big problem. Parents make a habit of groping the girls, to verify if they are still virgins. Did you hear about it?!
You can also read: “Tate tifi”, the virginity test that traumatizes women in Haiti
According to psychologist Vinson Bradley Noël, touching the child (give her a finger to see if she is a virgin) is a form of intimate rape, regardless of the reason behind the act. And this has great consequences on his physical and mental health.
A child is a person, he has intimacy and is beginning to be aware of his body even if he has not yet developed like an adult. All forms of abusive intuition will leave traces of trauma in his mind. And this reaction can change the relationship he will have with himself and others on a physical, emotional, and sexual level.
Psychologist Noël goes on to say that in 8/10 cases, when there is sexual abuse or rape, it is often people around him who do it: cousins, cousins, uncles, aunts, friends, neighbors, pastors, priests, teachers, etc. .
This close person, according to Landrin’s clinician, is the proximity that gives him the opportunity to abuse and violate. And when he does it, many times the victim feels guilty, because he was kind to that person, he accepted that person to be close to him, he has feelings of affection for that person or that person gave him many gifts.
These situations can have serious psychological consequences on the child such as: low self-esteem, suicidal thoughts, rejection, and body acceptance problems.
When there is touching on girls and boys, the specialists say, there is also moral/psychological abuse because the person often exerts pressure and threats in his interactions to make the child remain silent.
According to psychologist Landrin, a child who is a victim of sexual abuse or molestation and does not treat this trauma at the time it happens can develop problems: major mental health, acute depression, relational anxiety.
That’s why, the child may be afraid to enter into a relationship, there is an absence of sexual desire. This often makes them self-mutilate their private parts, injure it with a razor or burn it with a blowtorch.
Next, when the child becomes a teenager and enters the age to start living his sexual life, many times he can be very self-confident, afraid to have girlfriends and even join the logic of gaining a lot of weight to avoid attraction. Likewise, there are those who go to the other extreme and develop a hyper-sexuality.
What does the law say about these practices?
According to article 16.2 of the constitution, a child reaches the age of majority at 18. Below that age, the child is considered a minor, and consent, which is a personal decision, is not available to the minor. Therefore, all penetration actions in any form: violence, threats, coercion, surprise, are rape. And it is a major misdemeanor punishable by 10 years of forced labor, prison, according to article 278 of the penal code/decree of July 6, 2005.
When there is touching on girls and boys, the specialists say, there is also moral/psychological abuse because the person often exerts pressure and threats in his interactions to make the child remain silent.
According to the survey carried out by IPSOS in 2019: the majority of sexual violence is committed against children under 10 years old, most are incest and 83% are committed against girls, 17% against boys.
According to UN-woman, out of every 3 women and girls in the world, there is at least one who experiences physical and sexual violence in their lives. And, in Haiti, 30% of women between 15 and 30 years are victims of sexual abuse.
Which body is there to process these cases?
In Haiti, there are institutions that exist to denounce these acts and help take charge of the victims. Such as: Bien-être social (IBESR) which is an ethical institution, which should be there to receive these types of cases when they are produced both on girls and boys.
You can also read: In Grand’Anse, child rapists pay to escape prison
There are organizations doing this work also in the country. For example, Nègès Maron, which is a feminist organization that specializes in accompanying women and girls who are victims of violence. In a report shared by the institution with AyiboPost, for the period from May 2022 to December 2023: they announced that they accompanied 419 survivors of women and girls between the ages of 10 and 85. This medical, psychological and legal accompaniment aims to help survivors rebuild.
What can you do to help a child who is a victim of these dishonest acts?
The mental health specialist AyiboPost spoke to made some recommendations:
It is important for children’s sexual education to be done at home, in school and church, to let them know that people do not have rights over their private parts.
The topic of sexuality should not remain taboo, especially today where access to information is easier on the Internet. So, it is up to the parents and educators to filter this information and channel the children.
The word must be spoken so that the children know that there is a rega that is not normal, there is a touch that is not acceptable. Because sexuality does not include only sexual relations, genital organs, or the conception of children, but all forms of eroticism and seduction.
It is important for children’s sexual education to be done at home, in school and church, to let them know that people do not have rights over their private parts.
And when these types of cases are reproduced in society, children must talk to an adult they trust to get themselves out of the silence and curb all forms of pedophilia and find ways to get out of the distress they are living through sexual abuse relationships the
These communities have a duty to protect both girls and boys. Track children’s behavioral changes. Because different behavioral manifestations can be a sign to feel something is not working.
Don’t forget, a child is a person, when he is a victim, he is a victim. Even subconsciously if you think it has no impact on it, it will have repercussions going forward. After all, the proverb also says, children today, adults tomorrow.
And, always remember this: Your child, whether it is a girl or a boy, is not someone’s girlfriend.
► Research, text and presentation: Fabiola Laurent
► Accomplishment : Wilson Saintelus
► Camera and Editing: Wilson Saintelus
► Supervision: Cherub Jerome
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